It is not always the first thing that we think of to use essential oils for confidence, but they can be extremely effective. When you focus on reducing anxiety, nervous tension, and the physical effects of stress, it makes way for us to be able to change our thinking and find the courage to say, do or try something new.
There are some wonderful essential oils from the gentle encouragers of Ylang-Ylang and Mandarin, emotional and spiritual supporters like Bergamot and Palo Santo, and heavy hitters like Rosemary and Lemon.
Using these essential oils, you can create a range of exciting blends. Explore our essential oils blends, The Gentle Encourager, The Angels Embrace, and The Heavy Hitter. Whatever your individual needs, you'll find the perfect choice of essential oils for self-love and confidence.
Why Is Confidence So Important
We often take confidence for granted, and things can go awry only when we lack it.
We live in a world that perpetuates the ideal of how we should look, act and what our relationships and lives should look like.
When we seem to fall short of those 'ideals,' it can undermine our confidence, eat at our self-esteem and feed our fears. All this, over time, can utterly destroy our spirit.
There are so many reasons why a person loses confidence, and it can happen gradually over many years. However, all is not lost. We can use essential oils to support us on mental, emotional, and spiritual levels and use their properties to address some physical symptoms like anxiety.
I taught Confidence Building for many years, and I cannot stress how important it is to build your confidence. It opens new horizons, unlocks doors that may have been locked for years, and gives you a new lease on life.
It is cumulative; the more confidence you express, the more you gain. Hurdles and challenges are met with improved resilience and strength of purpose and character.
Sometimes, facing your fear head-on is cathartic.
Not only that, but it is considered by scientific research that those who have higher self-esteem and self-worth tend to make better decisions and have a more improved quality of life.
How Essential Oils Can Help With Confidence
Essential oils derive from natural plant matter and contain the chemical constituents of the plant. It is these constituents that make up the active properties of essential oils.
It is these active properties that provide us with so many physiological and psychological benefits. They can directly affect both our moods and emotions.
One of the ways that we can use essential oils to boost our confidence is by directly targeting the symptoms that make us anxious and cause us to lack confidence in the first place.
When we can address the symptoms of anxiety and calm ourselves to feel more even and balanced, it can help us. It is much easier to take a brave step forward feeling calm, measured, and confident than it is to feel sweaty, anxious and stressed.
We can use these chemical constituents and properties to act upon us physically. However, we can also use them to address the emotional aspects of confidence. We may fear failure, have self-worth issues, and feel like we are not enough, but essential oils can also support us vibrationally on that emotional level. I will share some of the work that I have done in recent years on this aspect of using essential oils with you.
Our Favorite Essential Oils For Confidence
I have been working with essential oil on a vibrational level for many years, so some of these recommendations might not be the first essential oils that spring to mind for you.
Bergamot Essential Oil (Citrus bergamia)
Many citrus essential oils give off that gorgeous zesty jolt that can boost your energy and improve your mood. Much research, including that from Rombolà (2019), has been into how Bergamot essential oil can help relieve anxiety and depression.
My research, on a vibrational level, shows it to be an essential oil that supports independence and allows you to be yourself and have the courage of your convictions. It is a great essential oil when you must speak up and speak your truth.
Safety:
- Do not use it in the first 16 weeks of pregnancy.
- Do not use it on children under 2 years of age.
- Bergamot can be phytotoxic, so do not expose skin that you have applied Bergamot essential oil to the sun for at least 48 hours.
Mandarin Essential Oil (Citrus reticulata)
Mandarin essential oil is another of those wonderful citrus oils that science supports in reducing anxiety as well Fung (2021). Despite its zest and zeal, it is a beautifully gentle and nurturing essential oil.
In my research, Mandarin is the 'Hand Holder,' which can foster feelings of safety and security. It is especially good in supporting social situations where there might be social anxiety and awkwardness.
It's rather wonderful at soothing fractiousness and frayed tempers too.
Safety:
- Do not use it in the first 16 weeks of pregnancy.
Lemon Essential Oil (Citrus limon L (Burm.) F. )
Komiya (2006) found just how effective Lemon essential oil was at tackling symptoms of anxiety and depression and proving what aromatherapists have been saying…and doing for many years.
The Lemon essential oil can boost our energy and ability to concentrate and focus, which is great when we need the confidence to deliver.
This oil's physical and emotional aspects help you in the following ways. We have a boost of energy, fostering a willingness to focus. This also boosts our motivation levels, which can push us further than we realize we are capable of.
The lemon essential oil supports you to achieve; it can push you beyond what you dreamt you were capable of. In turn, this helps in building more confidence, emotional intelligence, and resilience.
My research shows that Lemon essential with that gorgeous zesty fragrance brings the joy and the confidence to 'have a go' and try new things.
It peps up our steps, brings courage, and stimulates our heart space to open to new experiences. This helps those who like repeating the same patterns and who don't like things to change. It can help introduce new patterns and integrate change more readily and with less anxiety and stress.
Safety:
- Do not use it in the first 16 weeks of pregnancy.
- Do not use it on children under 2 years of age.
Rosemary Essential Oil (Rosmarinus officinalis)
Rosemary essential oil is widely used across the globe to stimulate, refresh and give a mood boost. Science supports that as well. Sayorwan (2013) concluded:
"These results confirm the stimulatory effects of rosemary oil and provide supporting evidence that brain wave activity, autonomic nervous system activity, as well as mood states are all affected by the inhalation of the rosemary oil."
But what can it do for our confidence? My research shows that it is an essential oil to turn to when you need to do the impossible, when you need to 'face the fear and do it anyway.' Boosting your brain, enhancing awareness, and bringing clarity and focus, despite the fear.
It is widely used to enhance concentration and focus and comes alive when we need it the most. Rosemary is your ultimate wingman (I'd still prefer Iceman, though. Oops, there I go showing my age)!
Safety:
- Rosemary contains constituents proven to be pro-convulsive for some people, be cautious with this essential oil if you have epilepsy.
- The stimulant nature of Rosemary may also stimulate your blood pressure, so those with Hypertension - High Blood Pressure need to use it with caution, if at all.
- It contains constituents that can be neurotoxic and can affect psychosis or delusory issues like schizophrenia; use with extreme caution if you experience or are diagnosed with any of these.
- If you have any of these conditions and wish to use Rosemary, please consult your relevant medical professional for advice and supervision.
- Please do not use it in the first 16 weeks of pregnancy.
Ylang Ylang Essential Oil (Cananga odorata)
Gorgeous Ylang Ylang and her tropical lushness will always improve the world. Another proven essential oil for reducing anxiety, and aromatherapists use it relatively widely to enhance courage.
I use This essential oil a LOT, so I have a very intimate and long-lived relationship with Ylang Ylang. Turn to her gifts when your confidence issues stem from the intimacy of relationships. Maybe you have been hurt, betrayed, or even abused, and your confidence is in your boots. Ylang Ylang is like a Nursery Nurse for your trust, coaxing it out gently and steadily from under the tablecloth.
Soft, gentle, encouraging, and nurturing, especially with Rose essential oil.
Turn to this when your heart needs healing and your self-love, self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence levels.
Safety:
- Do not use it in the first 37 weeks of pregnancy.
Palo Santo Essential Oil (Bursera graveolens)
There is little scientific evidence on this divine essential oil to date in reducing anxiety and depression, but I am sure it will come.
I LOVE this essential oil. It is well known as a tropical hardwood used for incense and smudging and for folk ritual purposes in its home countries. It is now becoming endangered as the boho chic of the Western world wants to burn it in their meditations and rituals. Please do not hesitate.
Grab a bottle of essential oil, guard it judiciously, and use it sparingly. You never need much; it is so potent.
I work with this essential oil a lot (in tiny precious amounts) as it elevates your consciousness and opens up your perspective. It can highlight where the core issues of your lack of confidence lie, enabling you to recognize and address them and heal the wounds that led to the loss of enthusiasm for you. It moves you gently towards healing.
It is super gentle, supportive, and like an old friend guiding you home. It is the perfect essential oil when you need that gentle encouragement and do not feel any pressure. To do things in your own time, one step at a time.
This is like a hug from an angel, deeply moving, highly emotional, and spiritual revelation.
Safety:
- Do not use it in the first 16 weeks of pregnancy.
Frankincense Essential Oil (Boswellia serrata)
According to Blossoming Heart author Robbi Zeck (2014), Frankincense moves us away from feeling vulnerable and into feeling protected. She says, "Frankincense brings stability and insulation when the inner landscape of the heart is feeling vulnerable. When you feel yourself wide open, stay connected to the light and know that the unseen helpers will protect you."
I agree with her analogy and take it further because it gives you the courage, confidence, and wherewithal to move those difficult steps forward. It allows you to do what is emotionally hard and push through difficult emotions and challenging times with grace and dignity. It can be a profound essential oil to harness in this way.
Safety:
- Do not use it in the first 16 weeks of pregnancy.
How to Use Essential Oils For Confidence
Your needs and circumstances depend on how and when to use essential oils for a confidence boost. Using essential oils with the following methods should cover most of your needs.
Diffuser
Essential oil diffusers are wonderful for the home environment. You can also use them in your work environment if you are lucky.
Using essential oil blends to boost your confidence can make you feel more relaxed in the home, helping you think you can speak up more readily for yourself and express your needs.
It is easy to go nose blind after a little while, so switch it off every hour for at least 20-30 minutes.
For more information, check out our article - How To Use Essential Oils In A Diffuser.
Room Spray
If you can't get away with using a diffuser at work, consider using a room spray to give the atmosphere a quick boost of your wondrous confidence essential oil blend. It works wonders at home too.
I find parents love them for calming the atmosphere at home. If you need more confidence in dealing with rambunctious, rowdy kids, this is certainly one to try. Make a calming one for them and a confidence blend for you.
Try out How To Make A Calm Kit With Essential Oils For Your Autistic Child; your child does not need to be autistic to give them a go; they will calm the most challenging children.
Also, check out - How To Make Essential Oil Room Spray.
Roller Balls
Roller balls come into their own when you are on the go or at work and need something more discreet and easy to use.
Simply diluting your confidence essential oils blend in a carrier oil like Sweet Almond and rolling it onto your pulse points makes it a doodle.
Perfect for when you have to go into meetings that you are nervous about or have to do a presentation. The confidence blends can make you feel back on track in no time.
Aroma Pendant
Again, beautifully discreet and very easy to use. It is simply a decorative pendant, usually with a felt pad inside, onto which you can apply drops of your confidence blend and take it wherever you go.
No one would ever guess why, either. It's the perfect way to use essential oils to support you throughout the working day, discreetly and easily.
Find out How To Make An Essential Oil Necklace that is cost-effective and easy to do at home for yourself.
It's super easy to top it up during the day, but if you suddenly don't seem to be able to smell it anymore, there is a high chance that you have become nose blind. Take it off for an hour and have a break from it. Pop it back after a gap of at least 30 mins, and you should be able to smell it again.
Learn more about inhalation's benefits in Liz's article Exciting New Discoveries Around The Benefits Of Inhaling Essential Oils.
Lotions and Potions
If you cannot wear an aroma pendant or carry a rollerball with you at work, then a lotion is the way to go.
Applying lotion after your morning shower, ready for the day, can get the essential oils straight to work. You can always top it up by using it throughout the day. Hand Cream is the perfect delivery medium for use throughout the day.
This is a good one for younger children, where you can carefully measure how much you use. It is also best to use it with those with learning difficulties or special needs who need the confidence to start the day.
Explore How To Make Body Lotion With Essential Oils cost-effectively at home.
Our Three Favorite Recipes with Essential Oils For Confidence
What do I need? You will need a separate 20ml dropper bottle, a mixing jug, a funnel, and a label for all the blends.
How to: Measure your carrier oil, add the essential oils, mix well, and use the funnel to decant it into the 20ml bottle. Add the dropper, cap tightly, and label clearly with all ingredients for safety reasons.
The Big Hitter
This is where you want to combine all those big hitters with strong energies for fast and effective results. This is when things seem impossible, and you need a really good kickstart and feel like the Universe has your back.
- 70 drops of Bergamot Essential Oil (Citrus bergamia)
- 30 drops of Rosemary Essential Oil (Rosmarinus officinalis)
- 70 drops of Lemon Essential Oil (Citrus limon L (Burm.) F. )
- 30 drops of Palo Santo Essential Oil (Bursera graveolens)
- 10ml Sweet Almond Carrier Oil
Safety:
- Do not use it in the first 16 weeks of pregnancy.
Rosemary specific:
- Rosemary contains constituents proven to be pro-convulsive for some people, be cautious with this essential oil if you have epilepsy.
- The stimulant nature of Rosemary may also stimulate your blood pressure, so those with Hypertension - High Blood Pressure need to use it with caution, if at all.
- It contains constituents that can be neurotoxic and can affect psychosis or delusory issues like schizophrenia; use with extreme caution if you experience or are diagnosed with any of these.
- If you have any of these conditions and wish to use Rosemary, please consult your relevant medical professional for advice and supervision.
- Please do not use it in the first 16 weeks of pregnancy.
Bergamot specific:
- Do not use it in the first 16 weeks of pregnancy.
- Do not use it on children under 2 years of age.
- Bergamot can be phytotoxic, so do not expose skin that you have applied Bergamot essential oil to the sun for at least 48 hours.
The Gentle Encourager
This is the essential oil blend to turn to when you need that gentle encouragement like someone holding your hand and guiding your way. Use this to support you physically, mentally, and emotionally to move you forward.
- 70 drops of Mandarin Essential Oil (Citrus reticulata)
- 50 drops of Ylang Ylang Essential Oil (Cananga odorata)
- 20 drops of Rose Otto Essential Oil (Rosa damascena)
- 30 drops of Palo Santo Essential Oil (Bursera graveolens)
- 30 drops of Frankincense Essential Oil (Boswellia serrata)
- 10ml Sweet Almond Carrier Oil
Safety:
- Do not use it in the first 37 weeks of pregnancy.
The Angels Embrace
This is the essential oil blend that I like the most. It is a mix of beautifully soothing essential oils, supported by those with a stronger undertone of getting things done and moving things forward. It helps you to move through fear and challenging emotions.
- 50 drops of Frankincense Essential Oil (Boswellia serrata)
- 50 drops of Palo Santo Essential Oil (Bursera graveolens)
- 50 drops of Mandarin Essential Oil (Citrus reticulata)
- 50 drops of Ylang Ylang Essential Oil (Cananga odorata)
- 10ml Sweet Almond Carrier Oil
Safety:
- Do not use it in the first 37 weeks of pregnancy.
Other Ways To Build Confidence
There are many ways to build confidence, and I suggest many great places to start. I have used them with many cohorts of learners in the past. I hope that they will do as much for you.
I have suggested some essential oils to support you with each aspect; remember to check their safety data and dilution ratios before using any of them.
Understand The Difference
It helps to define the difference between your confidence, self-worth, and self-esteem when trying to build your confidence. They are all DIFFERENT things.
If your self-esteem is very low and you don't think much of yourself and are constantly berating yourself or … others, that affects your self-worth.
To start anywhere with confidence, we have to start with our feelings of self-love and self-worth and build up from there.
When we feel worthless or that trying to change anything is pointless, it diminishes our confidence even to have a go. By boosting our confidence, it encourages us to have a go, and when we have good outcomes, that can make us feel better about ourselves and build our resilience.
When was the last time you surprised yourself at what you could achieve?
Use: Palo Santo and Frankincense essential oils to support you in reflecting on the difference and gauging the state of your self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence levels.
It can be quite an emotional experience if you also face other challenges like divorce, children flying the nest, and retirement, to name a few. Support yourself with Rose and Ylang Ylang essential oils if so.
Understand and Build Resilience
Resilience and confidence go hand in hand. Resilience means the capacity to withstand or recover quickly from difficulties. Developing resilience can also encourage us to be more confident that we can overcome the challenges life presents us with.
As we become more resilient, we are often becoming more confident in our capabilities.
Building resilience is key not only to your confidence but the quality of your mental and emotional well-being. When we get knocked and struggle to recover, it can negatively impact our mental well-being and lead to stress, anxiety, and depression.
When we are more resilient and feel that we can face some of the challenges, even if we don't yet know that we can overcome them, it sets us in a better state of mind from the outset.
It is not necessarily about knowing that we can overcome something; it's about giving it a go anyway, starting in a better frame of mind, and quashing those self-doubting devils on your shoulder.
Use: Lavender and Vetiver essential oils to support building resilience. Vetiver offers to ground, and Lavender is like an emotional disinfectant and can help you let go of emotions and move forward.
Identify Your Triggers
We all have things we hate. Things that rock our confidence.
For me, it is about going somewhere new.
I will get into this place of anxiety and stress, and I'm not even sure where it comes from. It's not about getting lost because I would ask someone. It is just about the journey from A-B. I have never gotten to its root or understood where it comes from.
I'm better with the invention of Sat Nav, and I'm better now that I've learned to drive, but it still gets me.
What are your triggers?
Next time, rather than avoid something, try and develop small strategies, one step at a time, that will move you at least one step closer to your goal.
That might look like planning my route and looking on satellite maps to see how my destination seems so that I will recognize it—then walking or driving the route before an important meeting to know where I am going. This reduces the day's stress and gives me one less thing to worry about.
What might that look like for you?
Use: Clary Sage essential oil to help you with the clarity to see things here.
Identify What You Are Good At
You are still good at something even in your darkest pit of despair and at your most wretched.
What are you good at?
Often we get fixated on things we cannot do or could be better at. Not only that, but comparison against other people robs us of opportunity.
Take Liz, my sister; she will be the first to tell you how bad she is with ball sports, yet I'm pretty good. Liz is a great singer; I'm tone-deaf. We are all different, and when we compare ourselves to our family, friends, peers, and celebrities, we rob ourselves of so many opportunities to shine.
Get a pen and a piece of paper and write everything you are good at. Do you make a splendid apple pie? Can you whip up a family feast in a blink of an eye? Are you a good listener and good friend? Write it all down.
Take a moment to let that sink in - look at just how much you ARE good at.
Go on…. Have a little proud and smug moment to yourself; it's allowed.
It's positively encouraged!
Use: Rose essential oil and a piece of Rose Quartz crystal to help support you through this exercise. If you don't have Rose, use Rose Geranium (Pelargonium asperum var roseum) instead.
Assertiveness
Women, especially, get a little edgy around assertiveness. Often, and usually in the workplace, when women are assertive, they often get misjudged as aggressive. However, if a man does the same thing, it's ok; there are no issues. Women, for years, have been living with these double standards.
Having worked in very male environments and very assertive roles, I know being proactive is an art.
You may need to tell someone what to do, or heaven forbid, even tell them off or sack them. You need to be able to carry yourself confidently, and being assertive (even if you don't feel confident) is key. Posture plays a part, as does the tone and intonation of your voice. It moves you to a different place, one where people are more likely to take notice and listen to you.
It takes practice and will come over time; try it out for yourself. Don't try it on the cat; they will sit there staring at you disdainfully; the dog, however, will have kittens! The dog is a good place to start.
Use: Palo Santo to help you learn to be assertive in more gentle situations, and combine it with Lemon and Frankincense essential oils in more challenging circumstances.
Learn How to Say No
This was always one of my favorite lessons to teach. My learners always left smiling, feeling empowered and excited to try their new skills.
Learning how to say no is another art. One that requires practice too. However, the general concept is pretty easy, and I will share it here with you now.
How to Say "No"!
So… you want to say "No"?
Follow this guideline to construct your response effectively.
Try to keep the reply short and clear but not abrupt or rude.
| Start your answer with the word no. | No, |
|---|---|
| Give the real reason for refusing; don’t invent excuses. | I want to spend some time with my partner |
| Avoid ‘I can’t’ phrases; use ‘I’d prefer not’ or ‘I’d rather not’. | So, I would rather not do that. |
| Don’t apologize profusely, if at all (one I’m sorry, but….’ will suffice. | I am sorry |
| Acknowledge the requester by name | Bob |
| Ask for more information if needed | Could I help in another way or at another time? |
| Ask for more time if needed. | Perhaps next week? |
| Now join it all together: “No, I want to spend some time with my partner, so I would rather not do that. I am sorry Bob, could I help at another time? Perhaps next week?” |
Now think of a situation where you would have liked to have said no. What did you say at the time?
Using the same situation, formulate an answer using the above guideline. Remember to keep the reply short and clear but not abrupt.
Use: A combination of Mandarin and Lemon essential oils to help you learn to say no.
Stop Apologizing
I’m British; we apologize for everything. The rain, the strength of the tea, our impossibly small cars, and even narrower roads. It’s in our DNA.
I even apologize to my Google Home Hub! Doh!
Seriously though, when we apologize, even if we are not in the wrong, it can make us feel like we are. Psychologically, this has a small impact, and over time these build up, and before we know it, we are an apologizing, hunched over, trembling wreck of ourselves.
By all means, if you are IN the wrong, it is only polite to apologize.
If you are not, next time, stop yourself; maybe smile instead and leave a smidge of that glorious confidence right where it is!
Use: Ylang-Ylang essential oil to help you stop apologizing.
Set Goals
It is so simple.
One of the first things I used to do as a teacher was set small, achievable goals for my learners. As they achieved these and ticked them off, they had a sense of satisfaction and built up their confidence. Making mistakes helped to teach them resilience, and overcoming the challenges boosted their confidence.
Setting, achieving, and celebrating goals is the fastest way to build confidence.
When setting new goals, think SMART Targets = Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timebound.
So what does that look like?
It could look like this if I wanted to up my step goal for every day of the week.
Goal: Walk 10,000 steps each day of the week for one week.
It is specific to 10,000 steps; you can measure it on a pedometer, it’s an achievable number of steps that is realistic for my capability, and it is time bound to be done in one week.
What SMART goal will you set for yourself today? Start small and work up, build resilience, confidence, and self-worth.
Use: Rosemary and Clary Sage essential oils to help you set goals.
The Final Word
Building confidence is not something that is going to happen overnight. It takes time, effort, and practice to make a real difference. However, it is certainly something I would urge you to work towards because it has so many knock-on effects in other areas of your life that it has to be worth it.
When you build confidence, you are also rebuilding self-worth, self-esteem, resilience, and the ability to bounce back from challenges. You will find it easier to speak your truth, say no, and be more assertive.
Using the essential oils correctly can be a game changer to getting the ball rolling. For those of you still hiding under the bed, use Ylang-Ylang; for those nervous, use Mandarin. For those who have some confidence but need a boost, use Rosemary and Lemon. If you struggle with change and like to repeat the same patterns, use Lemon to help you assimilate change and break patterns.
Work out the best delivery methods for you. Will a roller ball suffice and become your new bosom buddy? Or do you need the pervading mists of an essential oil diffuser to bring you calm? Whatever your needs, you will surely find the perfect delivery method that serves you and the perfect essential oils for confidence blend to suit you.
